My name is KC, and a relaxing evening to me includes a cup of hot green tea and analyzing the metaphors of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. And I am an Anomaly.
Hey there, guys! Sorry it's been so long since I've posted. Life has been keeping me on my toes. Anyway, I thought I'd continue a little spoof I did a few months back called "A Deconstruction of Dollhouse." I originally thought I was going to conclude everything in the second half, but after writing it, I discovered that I would much prefer to write it in three parts.
This part of DoD is more focused on spoofing the behind the scenes stuff, but there is a summary of spoilers within the first third of this post. So to be on the safe side, I'm marking this post with a spoiler warning.
I hope you enjoy. :)
EDIT: Just wanted to add a tiny disclaimer. I'm not really picking sides when it comes to the whole Dollhouse issue with any edition of DoD. I'm not out to make a statement about the politics of television and film or what went wrong with Dollhouse. This is purely for humor purposes because the whole behind the scenes stories and rumors are more funny to me than the actual show. But that's just me. :P
Previously on A Deconstruction of Dollhouse
FOX: Welcome back to the network, Joss. I hope you still aren't bitter about the whole Firefly thing.
JOSS: Did you see the Dollhouse pilot we shot?
FOX: Yeeeeeah, about that, we want you to re-write and re-shoot that.
JOSS: Wait, what?
FOX: And this whole arc thing? Not sure that the general audience is going to get it. We need more of a "case of the week" thing.
(For the next five episodes we see the following: Echo goes on a task, gets wiped. Topher quips. Boyd shows fatherly concern for Echo. Det. Helo scowls and looks sexy as he investigates the Dollhouse. Adelle shows no emotion and we get occasional looks at creepy-killer-male-doll ALPHA that show him as a threat, but will remain a mystery until the end of season one. Rinse repeat.)
JOSS: Can I have more of an arc now?
FOX: Hmmm... eh, we're probably going to cancel you anyway. Go right ahead.
JOSS: Awesome! Come, Tim Minear, let us away!
(Joss and TIM MINEAR run off faux superhero style. Ad-libbed "whoosh-ing" sounds come from them both.)
(Montage of the last six episodes of Season One, featuring cute MELLIE killing some jerk in sleeper Doll mode, DOMINIC REED getting sent to the Attic, ADELLE and TOPHER acting like their high, VICTOR and SIERRA continuing their cuteness, the reveal of ALAN TUDYK as ALPHA, ALPHA macking on ECHO, DET. HELO shocking TOPHER with a taser, ECHO developing a consciousness, and lots, lots more awesomeness. Not in that order, but still. Awesome. FOX EXEC interrupts.)
FOX: What the heck is this?
FOX: THIS! WHAT THE HECK IS THIS?!
JOSS: It's an arc... you know, like Lost has.
FOX: Oh, no! No, no, no, no, no! And who the heck are they?
(Handheld camera PANS to CAST OF EPITAPH ONE, wearing futuristic garb. FELICIA DAY smiles sheepishly and waves.)
JOSS: That's episode thirteen.
FOX: We told you, it's episode fourteen. The pilot was episode one.
JOSS: Which you made me rewrite.
FOX: Silence! (Looks at EPITAPH ONE CAST.) You lot! Get thee back to the DVD that you were banished to!
(EPITAPH ONE CAST disappears in a puff of pink, sparkly smoke.)
JOSS: Hey! That's not cool! That was our most awesome episode!
FOX: Not cool? I'll tell you what isn't cool! Look at how low your numbers are! It's obvious that you're confusing people with this inter-connected story stuff!
JOSS: No, I'm pretty sure that's the lack of publicity that you've been giving us.
JOSS: Um, yeah-huh.
(CUT to CAST OF DOLLHOUSE standing in the corner.)
TAHMOH PENIKETT: We never had to deal with this on BSG.
ELIZA DUSHKU: What's it like to work with a network that has faith in you?... Ha! Faith! Get it? 'Cause I was Faith? Y'know, on "Buffy?" Tee hee... I'm funny...
TAHMOH PENIKETT: ?
ELIZA DUSHKU: I'm one of the producers. Laugh if you want to keep your job.
TAHMOH PENIKETT: ... HAHAHAHAHAHA!... (He smiles awkwardly.)
ALAN TUDYK: Yeah, I think we're getting canceled.
TAHMOH: Please, it's not that bad. Besides, what do you know? You're on this show AND "V." Maybe you're getting your jobs mixed up.
ALAN TUDYK: Dude, I was on Firefly. Joss Whedon shows always get canceled.
TAHMOH PENIKETT: I'll bet you $100 that it doesn't.
ALAN TUDYK: You're on, big, broad and squinty.
ELIZA DUSHKU: I'll get in on that too.
ALAN TUDYK: Fine. Anyone else?
(CUT to FOX and JOSS, still arguing.)
FOX: We show all of our shows the same amount of attention!
JOSS: Oh really?
FOX: Yeah, really!
JOSS: Explain Glee.
FOX: ... your show is canceled.
JOSS: What? But--
(CUT to ALAN TUDYK in the corner receiving money from TAHMOH PENIKETT, ELIZA DUSHKU, FRAN KRANZ, OLIVIA WILLIAMS, and numerous actors and writers of the DOLLHOUSE CREW. TIM MINEAR laughs.)
JOSS: You know what? Fine. Nothing new to me. I'll just finish up with some episodes that are absolutely MIND-BLOWING!)
(JOSS leaves FOX'S office.)
FOX: Pfft! Fine! See if I care.
FOX (sings): Don't stop... be-liev-ing... hold on to that fe-ee-ee-li-i-in'...
To Be Concluded...
Stay tuned for A Deconstruction of Dollhouse: Epitaph Done.